Tag: Cars

AotM #15: Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day

Yes, everyone, that’s right, Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day is a thing. Enjoy some chocolate and almonds for breakfast, lunch, & dinner today, since they are an incredibly healthy and delicious snack.

  1. ‘O’ [Yawn!]
    …Did that work? Did you yawn through sheer peer pressure? Well hopefully so, since yawning is AWESOME! It oxygenates the brain, increases alertness, and moves you closer to a meditative state. So never be ashamed of yawning. I love articles like this that explore that fuzzy nexus of science and spirituality.
  2. Everyone should keep as many houseplants as you can handle. We spend more time indoors than ever before in human history, surrounded by more toxic chemicals than ever before, in more tightly sealed and insulated domiciles than ever before—those old drafty houses on the prairie were actually good for you. So do yourself a favor and invest in some all-natural, sunlight-powered, green air-filters. (Or spend more time outdoors…Either way).
  3. Books are great, and reading improves your language ability, but you can’t trust most books out there when it comes to grammar…Even that supposed “classic” Elements of Style by Strunk & White is full of horrendous and ill-informed advice. Grammar isn’t nearly as boring or stuffy as lots of codgy old books, misinformed teachers, and snobby editors would have you think. And incidentally, I absolutely love the Language Log blog, as it brings language and grammar to life.
  4. Your new car runs more lines of code than the Joint Strike Fighter (no wonder car costs haven’t gone down much over the decades). Might this cause some problems, maybe with brakes…? It’s unfortunate that it’s becoming more difficult to find and learn the pleasures of a no-frills manual transmission these days.

Philly Auto Show 2008

The following is what you get when someone who has no interest in automobiles (other than their help in getting from point A to point B) goes to an auto show.

me_in_fortwo

 

This first one is just silly, but so unique that it deserved a looksee. The Smart Fortwo is touted as an übereconomical city car. It lacks back seats, and has only a motorcycle engine or something silly like that. If I want a motorcycle engine with barely any room, I’ll get me a damn motorcycle.

I really just skipped through most of the exhibits since, again, I had no particular interest in most of the same old shiny plastic crap on display.

orange_oldie

 

But even my blasé self couldn’t resist the classics. For example, why aren’t manly metal road tanks with pumalike curves and couchy seats made anymore? The guy who owned this beast was there buffing it and he said he got the original with only 5000 miles on it, then replaced & rebuilt much of it, and now he drives it every day. Cool beans.

million_dollar_car

 

The pimped out oddities like this so called “Million Dollar Car” also caught my attention, since I enjoy seeing what people with way too much time and money can do with automobiles. I don’t know what specifically made this one so special, since we couldn’t get close to it, but it does look like a spaceship, which counts for something.

me_in_porche

Wandering through another room, some more bright yellow caught my ADHD eye, and, well, who could resist getting inside a Porsche? Frankly though, I don’t see the appeal. Where can you go to actually enjoy this car? Not the mention the fact that your view is incredible constrained by the minuteness of the interior combined with its sporty frame. The rear window is like a badly placed porthole. I like wide fields of view.

If I was to go for a mantoy car, I think I’d have to go convertible….

me_in_mb-sl55-amg

 

…Speaking of which, this $130,000 Mercedes-Benz definitely caught my eye (my sociopathic eye that was overshadowed by my huge neanderthalic brow—jeez convention center lighting is scary).

Anywho, the sexy curves and sexier “capri blue metallic” color drew me in, but I came to a realization: I don’t like luge. What I mean is, why do fast cars have you sitting so far back that you’re almost lying down? If I was going to be in a fast and powerful vehicle, I’d want the sensation of Supermanlike flight—lean me forwards like a good white boy driver should be positioned!

me_in_fitAh, finally, the only car that I really wanted to see—the Honda Fit. I never really cared an iota about cars until recently, when my ancient ’88 Accord started to betray its mortality. Even then, at first I had no idea what I was even looking for in a new car.

I wouldn’t want to get a Civic, despite my love of Honda reliability, handling, and build quality, since everyone has a Civic already. Then my dad told me about the Fit. Talk about love at first sight. This car has everything I didn’t even know I wanted in a car—great mileage, super-compact for city driving, yet with reconfigurable seats that can fit an entire surfboard or even a bike standing up.

Actually, what I really want is the “Sport” model [now, the EX] out later this year, which is more powerful, roomier, gets a purported 46(!) mpg on the highway, has a nice 6 speaker w/mp3 player setup, has an optional “moonroof”, and it looks sleeker than the 2008 version to boot. Oh, and it’s cheap!

So there you have it.